The Best Proof
by Alainn
Summary: The best proof of love is trust. Both Clark and Lex must learn this lesson. But first, they must admit their feelings. Clex.
1. Chapter 1 Clark

**Disclaimer: **You all know the drill. Sadly, I own nothing.

**A/N:** **SLASH**; don't like, don't read. This will be told in alternating first-person. The title is explained in the summary. And I shall put this as I always do: **no flames please, though constructive criticism is welcome**. That being said, enjoy!

**The Best Proof**

"_Games are a compromise between intimacy and keeping intimacy away._"

-Eric Berne

**Chapter 1 - Clark**

It had sort of…well…_hit_ me one day.

Actually, that's putting it mildly. It had crashed into me like a Mac truck.

What was strange about it was that it wasn't the realization that I felt these things that hit me. It was the realization that I had felt these things for some time and had not noticed them. Without seeing that I was doing so, I had simply accepted them as mundane. As something to be expected.

The time it occurred to me had been so…so _normal_ that for a moment, the revelation had escaped my attention. There was nothing life-altering about the situation. It wasn't as though Lex had been dangling over the edge of some cliff and the knowledge that I was about to lose him had spurred me to an epiphany. Which was odd, considering I had found myself in such scenarios before.

No. No, it ran deeper than sudden desperation.

And it scared the shit out of me.

Because I had no defenses against this. No immunity to emotional pain or euphoria. And I had no experience with it.

Oh sure, there was Lana. One could make that argument. One could also compare a light bulb to the sun.

And I had been sitting in Lex's study at the manor, simply catching up on Trig homework when the sun had suddenly blazed into my eyes.

He had been playing pool with himself. ("You're not much of a challenge. This way, you see, I'm always in suspense over who's going to win.")

If someone had entered the room that afternoon, they would have wondered what the point of my being there really was. It would have appeared as though we were each completely ignoring the other.

I was thinking this at the time and sort of smiling about it. At the fact that we didn't really need to talk to simply enjoy the other's presence. That we were just…comfortable. That despite the deceit that plagued me and bothered him at times as well, this was the one person I didn't have to play games with. That I was actually just Clark with. And that was nice.

I thought of Lana that afternoon. About how, even though it wasn't her fault, my relationship with her was, and always had been one long game.

And it was when I noticed that I had logged my girlfriend and my best friend away in the same category that I discovered something had changed. Or that perhaps nothing had changed and I was just stupid.

Yes. That was it. I was stupid.

It had always been there. We would have these…moments. And I had sort of thought "okay, this is how I feel around Lex" or "this is who I am around Lex". I didn't stop to think about how the person I was around him was so much better than the person I was with other people. I had never counted it as strange that I would rather be just walking up his driveway than be home, or at the Talon or anywhere else for that matter because it was just the way things were. He was just my favorite person and I had never stopped to ask myself _why_.

So when that aforementioned "why" Mac truck came barreling at me, I guess you could say I was a little unnerved.

"Clark?"

And he was staring at me, leaning over the pool table; cue still in position and concern lacing his gaze. He straightened completely when I didn't respond.

"Hey, you okay?'

I swallowed and managed to nod at this. But it must not have been enough to negate the look I'm sure was on my face because he set down the cue and crossed to the couch I was seated on. "You sure? You look a little sick."

Part of me wanted to seize this presented excuse, as any of my friends knew I was prone to sudden bouts of nausea (Pete being the only one who actually knew why). The other half of me wasn't really coherent enough at the time to make up a good lie.

"I'm sure."

Yeah, I'm sure. Sure that I'll never be okay again.

* * *

"So I was thinking I would do the whole 'write what you know' thing and do a piece about small town life. Assuming it doesn't come off hokey or generic, in which case I'll have to change my entire premise, 'cause-Clark, have you heard a word I've said?"

My eyes had been fixed on the glob of cafeteria macaroni and cheese that sat suspended on Chloe's fork and not on her face. I guess she noticed.

I shook my head and raised my gaze to her, too tired to glare at Pete for snickering. "Yeah. Yeah, sure. Small town life. Great idea."

She was observing me; this appraising look on her face and she jabbed her fork at me, indicating my own inscrutable expression. "I haven't seen you this distracted since freshman year when you used to watch Lana and Whitney from across the lunch room. Is that what this is about? Are you Lana deprived already? Geez Clark, she's only been gone since yesterday."

I couldn't exactly tell her that I had actually been relieved when Lana had announced her trip to visit Nell in Metropolis.

"Just for a few days," she had told me. "I'll study for finals up there and then when I get back, you and I will have some free time together."

My joy at the prospect of some time for introspection had been erased by the idea of quality time together upon her return. It would be harder to hide my unease from her because it was _about_ her.

"A guy is entitled to miss his girlfriend when she's gone, right man?"

I gave Pete a halfhearted smile. "Yeah," I agreed.

"Listen, Clark, we have to get together after school, don't forget," Chloe said, changing the subject rather abruptly and returning to her half-eaten lunch.

I lifted my chin from my palm and gave her my attention at this. "Why?"

She looked at me again, possibly trying to discern whether or not I was kidding. "You _are_ out of it. Torch? New issue? We gotta review it, remember? Any of this ringing a bell?"

"Oh, yeah," I pinched the bridge of my nose and then progressed to running my fingers through my hair. "I can't Chlo."

"Why not?"

I glanced back and forth between their expectant faces, trying to think how to word it without severely pissing Chloe off. "Well, I have some chores to do and then I'm uh…supposed to go to Lex's."

"Again? Clark, you know Thursday's are Torch days."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, but we can do it tomorrow, can't we?"

I knew we could. Chloe knew we could. But I could tell she didn't want to relent and support my new slacker life style. Her eyes lowered back to her food in submission. "Yeah, I guess."

She was pretty quiet the rest of our lunch period. And I wanted to explain to her why I didn't want to reschedule my casual plans with Lex. Or at least somehow assure her that it wasn't because the billionaire was taking hers or Pete's place in my life.

No, he seemed to be taking Lana's.

And before she returned, I was kind of hoping to get a little more insight into what it was all about. It was the only way I could face her when she came back.

I just needed a new strategy before our big game started up again.

* * *

More soon! Cookies for all the lovely reviewers! 


	2. Chapter 2 Lex

Okay ppls, here's chapter 2, but you have to do something before reading it: **A NEW SCENE HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE END OF CHAPTER 1. GO BACK AND READ IT BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER!** Now, here's more!

_"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends."_

Walt Whitman

**Chapter 2 – Lex**

He was different.

It was as simple as that.

I couldn't pinpoint exactly when his attitude had changed, but it certainly had. And it bothered me more than I cared to admit. It wasn't that I was concerned for him, though I would have been if the situation had called for it. Because it wasn't the expression he got when things were bad at home or he was arguing with Lana. No, whatever it was, it was about _me_.

If people preach certain things at you enough, you begin to at least _wonder_ if they're true. I could attest to this. So perhaps all the people in Clark's life who so often questioned him about why I was his best friend had planted a seed of doubt. Maybe he was seeing that there was no 'why' to our relationship.

Because the truth was, Clark didn't need me. He never had. _I_ needed _him_. So these past few years, I had been savoring my time with him and waiting for him to figure this out.

And now I was simply afraid that he had seen the light.

Yes, from the day Clark had shown up at my home and insisted on returning his "gift", from the first moment I realized I had a friend (a real one), I had been preparing myself to lose him.

More so lately.

I had convinced myself that if he didn't leave of his own volition, I was eventually going to accidentally a) push him away or b) scare him off.

And in the past year or so, I had discovered a dandy way of achieving the latter.

Yes, I could admit to a few things that would have him running in the opposite direction.

I had thought for a while that the attraction lay simply in the novelty. Clark didn't fit in my world and I liked that because I didn't like my world. That was the basis of my side of the friendship. He was so radically different from everyone else I knew. So much better than I could ever hope to be. I'd known no one like him.

And though I had desperately tried not to, I had grown to depend on his steady presence in my life. He had burrowed his way into this world of mine and made a place for himself. Usually as my conscience.

Nowadays, I understood that whatever we were was a little more than attraction or friendship alone. I was more dependent on him now than ever.

So I really wasn't in the mood to lose him just yet.

"Hey."

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Hey," I returned, sitting up in my desk chair and logging out of the computer program I had been staring at (or rather _through_) for the past twenty minutes. "You're late."

"Yeah, sorry," He slung his bag onto the couch and then plopped down beside it. "I sort of had to blow off a few Torch responsibilities this afternoon, so I had Pete following me home and kinda scolding me, and I normally would have run, but he can't um," He cleared his throat uneasily, "he can't really keep up."

"No need to rush," I assured him, rising to my feet and then leaning back casually against the desk. "I occupied my time."

His eyes darted to the computer. "You're busy." It was a statement, not a question. Precedence had taught him many times that I often had to shoo him away at his arrival because something had come up.

I gave him a half smile. "Not unless you count a game of Solitaire as vital to the future of LexCorp."

This got a slight laugh out of him and shifted his eyes back to me. But the mirth quickly faded from his countenance and he lowered his gaze. My own smile disappeared as well.

"Really Clark, you didn't interrupt anything," I insisted, ducking my head in a vain attempt to get him to look at me again.

"No, I know."

He didn't say anything else and for the first time, the silence between us was uncomfortable. Expectant on my end and reluctant on his.

"You alright?" I eventually inquired. I seemed to be asking that a lot lately.

"Fine," he said curtly.

"You know I can tell when you're lying, Clark, you do this thing with your face."

"I do not."

"Yes, you do; it's this a little bit too wide-eyed look you get." Clark's visage deliberately relaxed a bit at this. "So what's wrong? Is Chloe mad about you ditching?"

"No." He shook his head. "Well, yes, but she'll get over it."

I sighed and reluctantly continued. "So it must be Lana then."

He didn't respond for a moment and that's when I assumed I had guessed correctly. "She's in Metropolis right now," he said.

"So? You miss her?"

Another pause. And then he looked at me again. "Can I tell you something?"

My brow furrowed slightly at the gravity in his tone. "Sure."

He leaned forward to place his elbows on his knees, allowing his hands to dangle between them and his head to droop. "I was actually kind of glad for the break."

Needless to say, my confusion was increased by this. "Care to share why?"

He seemed to consider this and I got the distinct impression that he was filtering his next sentence. "I'm just…not sure about her right now."

"Wow." I nodded with feigned sympathy. "That may be the vaguest statement I've ever heard in my entire life, Clark." I laughed at the exasperated look this earned me. "C'mon, I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing, okay? Maybe I don't need help with this."

I was slightly offended by that, but I kept it from my face. My "Fine" however, must have sounded a bit more resigned than usual, because Clark's face was immediately apologetic.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." He reached up to run his fingers through his hair. "I need time, is all. I gotta figure this one out on my own."

His head was bowed again and I shook my own, pushing off from the edge of the desk and returning to the chair behind it. "Right," was all I offered.

And suddenly he was looking at me again, this gaze slightly bewildered. "What?" he asked as I rebooted the computer.

"Nothing Clark."

"No, I wanna know."

I sighed and paused, trying to think how to word what I wanted to say without my customary sarcasm. "It's nothing, really. Just one more thing to add to the list of unknowns I have filed away under the 'Clark' label."

And without even having to look up, I knew he was angry. "That's not fair. I didn't ask for help, you pried." A beat. And then softer: "As usual."

After allowing myself a minute to seethe silently, I chose to ignore that.

"Why do you want to know about Lana and me anyway?" he demanded. "What's it matter to you?"

"It doesn't." My voice had not raised an octave, but it was taking more self-restraint than I was accustomed to employing. "You're right, it doesn't." I stood again, abandoning the computer that had only just now loaded. "It doesn't matter to me at all. But it matters to _you_, Clark." His face softened at this. "Every now and then, believe it or not, I'm curious to know what goes on in my best friend's life. Now, I've accepted that there are some things you're not going to be telling me any time soon. But I thought the day-to day stuff, i.e. Lana, was a little more open. It's not this in particular that I need to know. But there are times…" I suddenly found myself without the energy and eloquence that had briefly possessed me and I felt deflated, "there are times when I feel like I don't know _anything_," I finished. "And I wonder if I ever will."

It took him some time to work up a response to that and he couldn't even look at me when he had. "It's not about you, Lex."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's _really_ not." And there was that expression of his that he got every time he was holding something back. The one that told me I wouldn't understand in the slightest. I was always somewhat insulted by it.

"It is." I lowered myself down on the couch beside him. "It doesn't matter if I'm not the _only_ one you don't tell Clark. You're still telling me that you don't trust me. Saying it's not about me doesn't mean it's not about me. It just means it's about _everyone_."

"No." Finally, he was looking at me again, though calmer now. "It's not about you. It's not about anyone else. It's about me." He stared at me for a while as if studying my features; memorizing me maybe. "And I _can't_. But I'm sorry that I can't. And it's important that you know that." His eyes were fixed on mine now, imploring. "Okay?"

I shrugged. "Not okay. But acceptable, I guess."

_For now._

"You really wanna hear about Lana?"

I allowed a grin. "No. Not especially."

My amusement was contagious apparently, as I got punched playfully in the arm for this, and none too gently.

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	3. Chapter 3 Clark

Sorry this took so long guys. Here ya go!

_"Dare to be true; nothing can need a lie;_

_A fault which needs it most, grows two thereby."_

-George Herbert

**Chapter 3 - Clark**

I hadn't gone over there to argue. Far from it. Really, I didn't know why I had gone. I don't know what I thought I was going to do.

Well, yes, I did know. I was going to do nothing. I always did nothing.

He didn't know how much I had just wanted to _tell him _right then. To just scream it from the rooftop.

I wished there was some way to explain to him _why _I couldn't tell him without telling him_everything_. There was no way to inform him that this wasn't your average secret. That _I_was the reason things were so crazy in Smallville, the reason Lana's parents were gone, the reason he was teased throughout his adolescent years.

He'd hate me. And I wasn't ready for that.

And after our fight (if one could call it that-perhaps mini-fight was more proper a term), when I simply spent the afternoon with Lex, it was uneasy for once. And it was becoming much clearer to me that I wasn't ready for a lot of things. Maybe even if the I was suddenly possessed of overwhelming courage, it wasn't the right time to tell him how I felt.

"Clark?"

I jerked slightly, startled by the sudden noise, nearly knocking my telescope into a 180. I turned toward the owner of the voice.

Chloe stepped up beside me at the window and her eyes darted curiously between me and my current activity. "You know Lana hasn't lived there in a while?"

I smirked at her. "Believe it or not, I was actually looking at the stars," I said, returning my eye to the lense. "You wanna see something cool?"

She smiled. "Always."

"Kay, lean down here." I straightened up and directed her to where I had been leaning.

"Wow," she said after a moment, her voice somewhat muffled by her now bent position. "What is that?"

"The globular clusters in the LMC," I supplied, watching the sky, and then her. She glanced up at me skeptically.

"It's a dwarf galaxy," I elucidated. "Kind of a cloud."

She grinned and shook her head. "You still surprise me sometimes, Kent."

I chuckled a little and crossed the floor to fall back on the sofa. "So what's up?"

She sat down on the low table across from me and reached into her shoulder bag, triumphantly extracting a manilla folder from it. "Ta da! This week's _Torch_."

I laughed again at her enthusiasm. I swear, the girl was born to be a journalist. I'd bet money she'd be the senior editor of the _Daily Planet_ before she hit thirty. "I don't suppose this is you surprising me with a finished copy that just needs to be printed?"

"No way you're getting out of it that easy." She shoved the file in my face. "You're not even writing this week, the least you could do is the layout. And then I'll copy them tomorrow."

"Fine," I agreed, opening it to find the front page carefully laid out on top. The head story was one thing she would never entrust me with choosing. As I skimmed it, my smile faded. "What's this?"

She leaned over me to glance at it upside down. "Oh yeah, that. Perfect front page material. And not just for us. All the major papers around here will be printing it."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I demanded.

Her forehead crinkled a little in confusion. "I figured you knew. Didn't Lex tell you?"

"No," I replied, my jaw clenching. "He certainly didn't."

* * *

I ignored the protests of the maid who had been following me since I had passed her in the parlor, blazing down the hallways I knew so well in the direction of Lex's study. I was accustomed to entering without permission, but never had I done it when one of the staff had expressly advised me against it. But I was too angry to listen now. She'd get over it.

"Mr. Kent, Mr. Luthor specifically instructed me that he did not want to be disturbed!" she insisted, tottering after me and huffing slightly as she attempted to keep up with my longer, more determined strides.

When I reached the door of the study, I half expected her to shove herself between it and me before I could turn the knob and act as a corporeal barrier. She did not do this however, allowing me finally to continue on my way with a submissive and somewhat exasperated look. She waved her dust rag at me in annoyance and turned back the way we had come. I watched her for a moment, then entered without knocking.

Before me sat Lex at his desk, and in front of him, seated in leather chairs were three men, all dressed in expensive suits, and two with briefcases resting on the floor beside them. All turned to stare at me when I barged in and the smile on Lex's face faded when he saw my expression.

"Uh, Clark, this really isn't a good time," he told me, casting a pointed look at his three guests.

"I need to talk to you," I demanded, ignoring the way the three men were glancing back and forth between the two of us.

A somewhat uneasy smile crossed his features that quickly turned to feigned amusement when directed at the others. "You'll have to excuse my friend, something seems to have upset-"

I stepped forward and dropped the newspaper Chloe had left in my custody the night before down on his desk. It landed with a plop on the papers and files that already littered it and the comment died on his lips. After a few seconds, he sighed and lifted his head. "Gentlemen," he began, "will you excuse us please?"

Shooting confused looks to each of the others, they all rose to their feet, gathered their effects and started toward the door. Lex came out from behind his desk to walk them. "Call my secretary in the morning; we'll arrange this for another time next week," he said to the eldest of the three, clapping him on the shoulder and guiding him into the hallway by his grip. He closed the door behind them, stood still for a short time, then turned back to me.

"That was important," he said, gesturing after them.

"So's this," I insisted. "Were you planning on telling me?"

"I didn't want you to get how you get."

"'How I get'? Lex," I picked the paper back up and waved it a bit for emphasis, "This land stops just short of our farm!"

"Which is fair game," he explained, as if this justified it. He slipped his hands casually into his pockets. "I don't understand why you're so upset about this."

"It seems like Luthor and LexCorp are buying up more and more of Smallville. I just wonder where it's gonna be in five years."

"I wouldn't ask your father to sell, Clark." He walked past me back to his desk.

"Well, what happens when he has no choice? When a second factory pollutes more of the water? When it brings in other corporations that _will_ force him to sell?"

"Clark, calm down," he persisted, sitting. "It's only a ten mile stretch. Do you realize how many jobs this will create? Really, you're making too big a deal of this."

"It _is _a big deal!" I knew I was getting a little too worked up, and though I promised myself I wouldn't, I was beyond being polite about this. "But I suppose that's hard to understand if you've never actually had a home."

I regretted the words the instant they left my mouth, but I didn't let it show. If I backed down now, I would lose. And he already wasn't taking me seriously. It took him a while to answer me and all he did during the gap in the speech was gaze at me. I shifted uneasily.

"Smallville is my home now, Clark," he told me calmly. "But it's the people in it that make that so, not the land I own. What makes it _your_ home?"

I stood there. A part of me wanted to say that he was a big part of it. Especially since he was implying the same towards me. But I only got out, "My family."

"And I won't be buying them anytime soon," he quipped. "So worry about them and not their property."

"I don't just-" I cut myself off before I could go any further with that. I couldn't simply blurt out that it wasn't only our farm I worried about. It was more scrutiny on our land, the meteor rocks that would have to be cleared from the construction site... _me_. And I knew my parents would not be pleased about that. I didn't want them worrying. I would have liked to be able to do my chores without looking over my shoulder all the time to ensure that some random factory worker wasn't witnessing any display or my strength or speed.

"Hey," Lex waved a hand before my face and my eyes focused on him. "Relax, okay? Things won't change half as much as you think they will--I promise."

* * *

"We'll just have to be a little more careful, that's all," Mom said, obviously attempting to soothe my pacing father.

"I swear, that family's never gonna change," he practically growled, "And it was extremely bad judgment on our part to think that they would."

"Dad-"

My mother shot me a look and I quieted, allowing her to handle him. "It's never bad to give people the benefit of the doubt, Jonathan. I think it's better to err on the side of kindness than suspicion."

"Lex isn't his father," I broke in. I felt as though I had already said that a thousand times. And I probably had. "I was angry too, but he's right. It's just ten miles, and it'll be worth the jobs-"

"Son, don't you realize what he's doing?" he demanded, rounding on me. "I realize the boy isn't his father, but that just means he operates differently, not that his motives are any more noble. At least Lionel is up front about his intentions."

"You think Lex wants the farm?" Mom asked, her tone implying that such an idea was somewhat ridiculous. I was glad she was on my side.

"No, I don't think he wants the farm. I think he wants Smallville."

Mom rolled her eyes. "Jonathan, I think that's a pretty farfetched conspiracy theory. Lex has been nothing but gracious towards us _and_ the town-"

"Until now," Dad interrupted.

"We have no reason to believe that Lex wants anything more than to create more positions for some of the out-of-work factory employees."

"Oh, we sure as hell do." He finally plopped down in the arm chair across from me and mom, but even then he leaned forward impatiently as he spoke. "With all of the property Smallville farmland can give him, Lex would be well on his way to buying up dear old dad." He sat back. "And you both know it."

Neither of us responded to that. I think I was waiting for mom to think up a way to refute him. But either she was waiting for me to do the same, or like me, she couldn't think of one. Because she didn't say anything.

* * *

Okay, I did my part, now you guys do yours. C'mon, click the little button beside the blue box. You know you wanna...


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